Why now

Here I go I still can't believe I am doing this. I decided to start this blog because I wanted somewhere that I can express myself. I thought about making this a private blog, but than thought why. What if there is one person out that that can relate to what I am struggling with, or can offer advice on how to get through a hard day, or what if there is someone out there that learn something from me. Maybe just maybe I can help someone discover something, but mostly I am doing this for ME. I need to open up and let myself heal because even if I became this super skinny person I would still not be the healthiest person on the inside. Which is why I decided to name my blog think skinny no wait think healthy. I am looking to transform myself into a healthy person both on the outside as well as the inside. We have personal dragons that we need to slay and I have decided that now is the time to slay mine. I am tires of looking in the mirror and hating, yes hating the person that I see looking back at me. After a lot of thought and thinking I decided that I just don't hate the way I look but I hate the way I feel all the time. I want to be healthy happy whole person. The only way to get this is to become healthy inside and out. If I fix the inside just maybe it will help my in my weight loss journey. I say journey because for me this has to be a journey it just can't be a diet or a phase, I truly want to be healthy and happy. The only way I know how is start this journey. I hope that if anyone decides that they want to read this they will be gentle as I have never opened myself up so much. My plan is talk about my weight on a very personal level as well and open up to what I have gone through to get me where I am at. So please do not take what I write lightly and make jokes it is fragile and my biggest fear as always been what would people say about me. Even if no one decides to read this than I know that I have a place that I can truly write what I feel and maybe heal myself and slay my dragons.